Dear fellow
community members…
I am writing this letter to you with guilt tinged hurt. Some of the things that I will say may point toward an unappreciative part of me. Please don't take my words out of context. My goal is to prevent others from experiencing the same mental, emotional and physical agony that I have to undergo… with a few details changed to protect mine and my sibling's identity, here is my story:
I grew up in a household with both parents sick. My father had a rare degenerative disease that eventually robbed him of his life at a very young age. My mother had and still does have multiple difficulties due to her morbidly obese condition. Whatever we were able to hide during my father's lifetime came out in the open after he passed away. I had been used to spending my entire being on putting up a brave front for the world, when he passed away the desire was gone. Along with his death came the death of my self worthiness too.
No words can describe the utterly shameful feeling of going to shul and seeing the walls plastered with signs advertising "my" family's misfortune. My brave front crumbled as wherever I turned I faced people who had uncovered my false facade. My siblings each took it one worse than the other. I have a brother who used to smuggle food home from cheder for us so my parents wouldn't have to beg. He protected our family's dignity with grace and strengty not matching his age. It is heartbreaking for me to inform you that he has since fallen to the wayside of addiction and substance abuse. The pain of shame was too much for him to handle so he sought a means of escape.
The help we received felt patronizing and derogatory. I know I should not feel resent.ent towards all the kind mitzva yidden but the feeling is there and it's making me quite uneasy. Writing this letter in a public forum is making me feel better. If it contributes to your decision to sign up I will feel as if our family's shame was not in vain.
Dear yidden,
You have now in your capacity the ability to do what my father can no longer do. When I heard of this plan I actually thought I'm dreaming..... It is my blessing to all of klal yisrael that noone should have to endure what my family does...
Sincerly yours,
(Name witheld for confidentiality)
